


Can't Forget

by Rhianona



Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-03
Updated: 2006-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-10 12:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/99700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhianona/pseuds/Rhianona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John can't forget Aeryn</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Forget

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: [Insert witty comment here] Farscape doesn't belong to me.

He stared at the capsule, waiting for him on the table, the same way it had for the last two weeks. _Take it before you go to sleep_ she had told him. Trouble was, John had stopped trying to sleep months ago. It didn't seem worth the effort to force himself into Morpheus' arms when what kept him awake would simply chase him relentlessly in his dreams. He would sleep when he was exhausted – too exhausted to dream properly he hoped. Life had certainly been shitty to him. He sometimes wished he and DK had never gotten the funding for their Farscape project, wished he had never been able to go up and try his experiment. Never been shot through a wormhole and ended up on the other side of the universe. He played a game with himself when things got bad. He imagined what his life would be like if he were still on Earth. What he would be doing, who he would be in love with, if he could ever live up to his father's image. Of course that was all academic. He was here and nothing could be done about that, despite his best efforts. Frelling wormholes.

It wasn't the wormholes that kept him awake. Pity that. He knew more than one person would be happy if it did. Seemed everyone wanted the wormholes. Too bad he couldn't conjure them at will. As he told D'Argo: if he could find wormholes he certainly wouldn't be hanging around here on Moya – he would be home.

Home: Earth. He yearned to return, to be… _normal_ again. Not have to run anymore. To settle down and maybe raise some rug rats. _That_ certainly wasn't in the cards at the moment! He found it ironic: here he was, halfway across the galaxy, a man of science and rather than focusing on the different species and cultures he regularly interacted with, he was, more often than not, shooting his way out of trouble. It was enough to make him cry. But real men don't. At least that's what he told himself.

God! His eyes felt gritty. Sleep might come soon. He prayed he wouldn't dream, wouldn't remember. He looked down at the pod of… stuff that crazy old woman had pressed into his hand for the first time two weeks ago. For the sleep, she said, for the memories. To forget. Too bad it didn't work. Every night the capsule appeared in his quarters. And every night he put off taking it until he felt sleep either coming upon him, or knew, with utmost certainty he wouldn't be sleeping tonight. Fucking insomniac, that was what he was becoming. He knew D'Argo and Chi were starting to get worried. He brushed aside their concern. They couldn't prevent him from remembering… her.

It all came back to her. Aeryn. His other half. It didn't matter how many drugs he took, he could still remember her touch… the feel of her… her smell… her taste. He couldn't keep her out of his head! And it didn't matter that he had killed her or that she had left him. He still wanted her, wanted to take her and start a life with just the two of them. And nothing that crazy old witch could give him worked to keep her out of his head. He dreamed of her, of them, of the possibilities. And it was killing him.

Last chance. Last chance to take the damn pill before he fell asleep. He took it, grimacing at its taste as it made its way down his throat. He prayed it worked this time. Prayed he wouldn't dream of her. As sleep claimed him, he knew he would. Nothing could change that.


End file.
